Today was pretty strange, I woke up this morning to find my dad banging on my window. I guess my phone need some charging because he was trying to call me all day yesterday. Geez, I was back at home last Saturday. I had to go downtown to talk to the lawyer my dad hired for me. I got the impression that he was a nice old guy. He was saying that he's been a lawyer since 1961. Its really hard to imagine that you could be stuck in a carrier for that amount of time. I suppose thats whats so great about being so young is that you have so many chances to change the path your on. I still have no idea what I really want to do and its hard for me to want to pick a particular path to go down. My bad habits have kind of side tracked me half the time. When my dad came over my place was a mess and he was telling me that I should take some pride in my apartment, and hes right. I don't really take pride in anything anymore, its like I've just let myself go, like I just don't care anymore. Needless to say I managed to clean my whole apartment, but I really need to keep it a regular habit. Right now I'm trying to procrastinate on writing my Paper for English. I'm supposed to be writing about the comparison between the Kennedy administration and Camelot. Its supposed to be six pages; Ive got three so far but I think I'm trying too hard to be a perfectionist and its taking forever. It was really nice to see it snowing Saturday, I was at work from 4 to close that day which was really nice because we dident have many people come in that day. I was working with kyle, and he is probably one of my favorite people to work with just because we are able to talk to each other about basically anything. His ex-girl friend came in while we were trying to close, and she got all mad at him that he wasent give her enough attention. I understand that girls need their guys to be there regularly but she wanted him to be around her 24/7. Its was pretty interesting hearing his stories about his ex and just girls. It was kind of funny, earlier that night we were getting into an argument about the perfect bra size, he said that DD was the perfect size but I thought that was a little too much and that a C or D was far more attractive. I suppose that its personal opinion but there has to be a point where it gets to be too much and not even attractive. It was kind of the conversation that guys talk about but don't want girls to know they talk about it. I cant wait for Christmas! Although it just dose not seem as magical as it was when I was a child its still something that I look forward to every year. I still haven't figured out what I want to put on my list. I was thinking about getting an acoustic guitar but I'm thinking that just might be a little too much to ask for. I don't know, I should be able to figure something out by the end of the week. I may not believe in the reason for celebrating Christmas, but I'm still glad that I can celebrate it anyway.
I've pretty much made up my mind that I'm going to try to get out of my apartment as much as I possibly can. I've spent too much time in here to myself, and I really need to get out and meet people. I'm going to try to do some acting, I hope I can find an acting club at school. Otherwise I might just join a political club and talk about politics. My mom and dad have said I would be really good at acting if I put my mind to it, and i think they are right. I've been doing some practice in the mirror, and I cant help but laugh at myself every time I do it. I hope that acting might force me to be a more confident person. It seems whenever I write a paper, or do poetry, or try to act in the mirror I see someone that I want other people to see. I kinda want to also get in touch with old high school friends but I'm afraid that half the people in high school want nothing to do with me. Ive noticed that I never get any messages on my facebook board anymore, and it's telling when I message someone and they don't reply. Now I don't really go on anymore, and I probably check it once a month. The only time anyone cares or even notices me is when my birthday rolls around and I get 10 to 15 happy birthday messages, and then nothing for a few months. Maybe I'm just the black sheep to everyone, I never really could fit in high school and my problems followed me right into college. It makes me so depressed sometimes that I don't have what other people have like lots of friends, a girlfriend, and super grades. Anyway its nice to know that I'm better then I was a year ago. Maybe thats what I have to do, take small baby steps.